ethereal disco

montreal:: poutine, crepes, & lovin'

2010-05-24T21:12:00.001-04:00

bonjour from pamela shepard on Vimeo.

on the way & coming soon...

2010-05-23T20:51:00.001-04:00

...just a taste :)

four-finger ring

inspiration....

2010-05-23T20:49:00.001-04:00

working on a project at the moment

ceramic jewelry

dewy & demur

the video

the colors

does it for me

how lovely she is...

2010-05-23T19:44:00.005-04:00

mom in the 70's

my natural inspiration

she probably has no idea..

don't you love the big hair?!

he asked and i said...

2010-05-23T19:42:00.007-04:00

"i am [now] who i always thought i was,

and wanted to be,

but didn't think i could be."

so... here we are...

must admit

i was proud of myself for that one

had to write it down

if i was going...

2010-05-21T14:53:00.004-04:00

to get married this summer

this would totally be my wedding dress

feast your eyes on this one...

but of course...

2010-05-13T23:02:00.008-04:00

Jillian.. the cutest cousin ever

(aside from her sisters ;)

is now a member of

THE NATIONAL HONOR SOCIETY

CONGRATS!!!

... yep pretty much

runs in the family...

thanks.

may 8 :: thoughts

2010-05-09T01:27:00.002-04:00

…since when do people know what they want?

This was Shaun’s response to me.. his wisdom via God/Morgan Freeman in the movie Bruce Almighty. I was explaining to him how through all of my changes and my growth I haven’t the slightest idea of what my type is regarding men. Ok, so maybe a little idea about what I need from past experiences.. but as far as what that package looks like and how to spot him… I’m completely stumped.

However, in writing this it seems to all make sense. I can’t judge anyone from the outside and that was probably my issue before... Duh- So caught up with the external… what is lacking from the internal goes unnoticed. I should just focus on how I feel, the chemistry, the balance… I guess I’ll know it when it comes… which is what they say right?

Several things…

So I met a guy on Wednesday… long story short, I found out (via google… I know I know) that he may be kindofabigdeal. Immediately, I must say I became a bit intimidated by the thought of proceeding with him and what it means, say if we enter into a relationship (can’t help it.) Am I ready for the responsibility of being the counterpart to someone like that? Good enough? When he finds out more about me will he think I’m the appropriate choice for his life? Will he find value in who I am and what I am doing? Possess the patience to peel back the layers? To know that he can only see a fraction of me at this moment and that I will always be growing, changing, morphing and being… Appreciate that that’s the intriguing part of being with me? It will never get old…

Separate, but equally important… several people (kids in school) are leaving my job. For a moment because of their moving on I began to feel stuck. Like I am in a place where I have accepted my fate to work in a retail store.

Then, after a few moments I snapped myself out of it. New York and life can be so distracting! I am where I should be. I am working on my 10,000 hours. I am only at Reiss only 3 days a week (with full-time benefits might I add), and I have freedom to work DK and plenty of time to focus on my pottery. This is my lifestyle at the moment… what I wanted, what I asked for, what I received, and what I am thankful for. It is not exactly as I imagined but it’s damn near perfect. My career cannot and will not make me. My presence in this world is a gift and I should, will and do carry myself as such. What I have to offer is special to me and me only. You’re welcome.

No man or outside distraction is going to knock me off track for who I am now and who I am slated to be.

april 20 :: bday eve :: thoughts

2010-05-09T01:23:00.003-04:00

It’s April 20, 2010 and tomorrow I will be 27 years of age.

I have been thinking about where I am in my life right now and if I step back and take a look I’m doing just fine. No comparisons to the general population, no looking at time, just asking myself if I am doing what is necessary to be the best me.

I realized not too long ago that I must make things beautiful and make beautiful things. Today, I am an artist. For so long I thought the word too bold, I was too humble to have the label placed upon me. I did not want to be responsible for its weight. Today, I know not claiming what I have been called to be is death. I understand now.

I do battle, however, with the need to take in information vs. the need to create. I observe and absorb so much but my output is quite minimal. Reminds me of a friend’s childhood story- for the entirety of her time as a toddler through adolescence she barely spoke… barely said a word… and today she is the life of the party and a social butterfly. Was she just taking it all in during those foundational years? Only to have a overflow of fervor for life years later…

I am comfortable and that scares me. It is in this place that I fear complacency and acceptance. Isn’t it anger and problems that inspired creative solutions and gallant expressive acts?

I must want more and strive for greater than this moment. Every moment should be the ultimate moment.

I look at photographs of New Yorkers and all I see is youth. The life we lead here is so young. Selfish. Is it the lack of responsibility to anyone but ourselves that keeps us going? Keeps us cool/chic/on trend etc.?

For the first time in a long time I am truly single. I have cut off or took a break from all of my guy “friends.” You know, the ones that I would hang out with, hook up with or had an unfailing attraction for. All of them gone. It’s a bit liberating I must admit. A friend said to me, “I love single Shayla.” Me too. I do what I want with my time, find MY way… I’m finding my person without the influence of others or another.

I didn’t know that being an artist was an option. Seemed unsafe. How can I make a living from that? It’s not what I saw as a child. My parents, both in ‘stable’ jobs- teacher and project manager at architectural firm.

I have been thinking a lot about leaving New York. Thinking about the west coast or moving home for a bit. Thought of grad school at Ohio State.. apparently they have a decent program in ceramics. I have really appreciated my new-found interest in pottery. There is also a program in San Francisco. Both programs are in the top 10… hum, wonder if I could go to OSU for free? Or get a killer scholarship for SF.

I am easily influenced… gotta stop that. The world is too loud and my mind too quiet. Speak up.

lunch break on bleeker st...

2010-04-17T00:36:00.002-04:00

http://fashion.elle.com/blog/2010/03/street-chic-new-york-11.html#comments

black love is real

2010-04-09T22:53:00.000-04:00

painted lady dresses

2010-03-27T01:39:00.003-04:00

funny how life changes

a year and a half ago i was selling bridesmaid dresses

they weren't like these tho

so cute they are

i won't be in any weddings anytime soon

(i don't think)

but for everyone else they are quite nice

you know what? they can be worn as just a nice dress too

so versatile...

yay ally!

(it's my friend's line.. so let me know and i will forward info if interested)

friends of friends

2010-03-27T01:02:00.003-04:00

so...

i don't really know them

per say

may have met them once

or not at all

but aren't they beautiful?

oh to be inspired...

2010-03-27T00:56:00.003-04:00

julia sarr-jamois

fashion editor for wonderland magazine

it found me again

2010-03-27T00:52:00.002-04:00

a friend shared this with me some time ago

it found its way back

eery and beautiful

...kinda like life

loving life.. this moment is a blessing

2010-03-26T16:16:00.002-04:00

wow..

what a difference a year can make

i would have never thought that i would be in this place

i take that back.. I KNEW

i didn't know when 'it' was to be my reality

but i knew it would come

kept telling my mom

i know something big is going to happen

it did

i haven't been this happy in ages

i can't thank Him enough

i have a lovely home in Ft. Greene

where it all started for me

and i'm back

comfortable...

spring is here

i will soon be 27

i have an amazing lifestyle

time for work and time for play

i use my creativity in my work

and get exercise doing it

so my body is right

and yoga once a week helps too

in shape and in balance

i'm surrounded by lovely ladies

we motivate and inspire one another

i'm now a studio assistant

yay! in a pottery studio

unlimited access!

i'm doing

i'm creating

i'm loving... myself

thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you

a vision of home ownership..

2010-03-26T15:55:00.003-04:00

for when i'm ready to buy...

kinda rustic and masculine

but eclectic and comfy

while i'm loving my place now

i will not keep myself from setting goals for future...

ms. badu knows...

2010-03-26T14:39:00.004-04:00

her album drops soon...

i thank her for sharing her work

her strength..

and her ability to be insecure at times...

we are all so complex

multifaceted

fine jewels...

I just want a chance to fly

A chance to cry
And a long bye bye..
But I need u to want me
Need you to miss me
I need your attention
I need you next me
I need someone to clap for me
I need your direction

...wood-grain errythang

2010-03-26T14:12:00.002-04:00

shywood did it for me

for real? wood-grain specs?

i think i may need these for spring/summer

and life in general...

2010-03-11T13:26:00.000-05:00

They who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night.

-edgar allan poe

2010-03-08T22:08:00.001-05:00

self-discovery &...

2010-03-04T16:19:00.003-05:00

self-preservation

most times one in the same

it's part of the journey

the awakening of "i am"

work by: katharina grosse

if ur in the giving spirit...

2010-02-28T11:53:00.005-05:00

::UPDATE:: IT'S MINE!! MuauauauauauauAUAHAHAHAHAHAH!! I am now the proud owner of this fine piece of jewelry ;)

...and have some extra change on you

BUY ME THIS!!! ...available here

::clears throat::

pardon me, i apologize....

don't know what came over me

this necklace has to be one of the

most magnificent pieces that i've seen in a while

for neck adornment purposes

and it's somewhat affordable..

eh..

::putting it in the atmosphere:: i will have this

perfect for morning

2010-02-27T19:23:00.001-05:00

afternoon, or night

i love this way cuz i got it as a kid

2010-02-27T16:33:00.001-05:00

i miss him dearly...

2010-02-27T16:26:00.002-05:00

presence

2010-02-27T16:21:00.002-05:00

"seeing beauty in a flower could awaken humans, however briefly, to the beauty that is an essential part of their innermost being, their true nature. the first recognition of beauty was one of the most significant events in the evolution of human consciousness. the feelings of joy and love are intrinsically connected to that recognition..."

- a new earth

the haze has lifted

2010-02-27T13:28:00.006-05:00

and my gift to this world has become quite clear.

i am to work with my hands

making things beautiful

making beautiful things

at the request of a friend

i chose to dabble in make-up for a shoot

... the joy comes when the outcome is pleasing

styling: pam

photo: kwesi

i have grand ideas for etherealdisco

imagination makes me high

it will come

it has been done

time is nonexistent

my medium...

2010-02-27T12:23:00.007-05:00

... space and accoutrements

and just about anything

to garnish one's visual experience

i'm working on my 10,000 hrs

at the moment

the muses...

2010-02-27T11:47:00.003-05:00

"beauty must be defined as what we are,

or else the concept itself is our enemy"

2010-02-26T18:03:00.001-05:00

yup

i know.

spring prep...

2010-02-26T17:43:00.002-05:00

just gotta get this outfit...

and this hair ;)

for your listening enjoyment...

2010-02-26T17:17:00.003-05:00

the audio equivalent of ethereal disco...

water drops breaking on the surface of an electric pond

what was i thinking?

2010-02-26T17:01:00.002-05:00

how come i didn't show you this sooner?

just had to get a vision out...

i wanted to capture the styling in the atmosphere that inspired it

ft. greene, the brownstones, and the park were the backdrop

camille and dj peter jay were amazing in the piece, yes?

my goal was to do one per month... i'm slacking!

one day i know..

2010-02-26T16:46:00.003-05:00

i will have my own version of this...

they create their own world...

the lovely genius of isabel and ruben toledo
i have experienced their blissful partnership

what they have is theirs and it's an absolute masterpiece
their love, their work... it all seems to fuse into one

life wants...

2009-11-08T12:47:00.002-05:00

my entire life has changed... this is what my friend and i exclaim to one another when there is extensive time between talks
so... now is say it to you...

my entire life has changed!

(it has been a while since i've shared... tends to be an issue that overflows into my real life and my relationships as well.. but i'm working on it)

what do YOU want?

i pose this question to close friends and to people i am getting to know.. the answer ever-evolving with the growth and experiences of the individual. to most, the answer does not come so easy to what, at first, seems to be a simple question...

for the longest time i desired inner peace... i have it now, and am SO thankful to Him for that. it seemed impossible... but now i have proof that prayers changes things... the battle was in my mind... i won

no.. my life is not perfect and i am far from satisfied.. i still have desires and goals that have yet to be reached but,

I AM AT PEACE & HAPPY

so what do i want? (in no particular order)

to have control of my life and live everyday on purpose.... to know i can do anything i want.. through Him of course

to have the faith, patience and persistence to see it all through

to fall deeply into passionate love and maintain a stable relationship with Him as our center

we partner together on creative and business endeavors and we obtain synergy as a dynamic team

reach a position as a visual manager/director

have income of $100,000 per yr

make/create jewelry, inspiration, art, etc.

be married to the person i described sharing the relationship with me above

own a beautiful home

have the financial comfort/stability to do as i please as far as shopping and travel is concerned

have a site/space to showcase my work

have long curly hair that has grown to the middle of my back.. again patience is neccessary here :)

be a healthy 120-123 lbs.

have 2-3 beautiful, healthy, charismatic children with the brains of creative intellects and a hustler spirit

au naturaule

2009-06-26T14:44:00.003-04:00

texture. natural. curly. volume.

i made a change about a month ago. the feathered locks that once adorned my head were my signature. the voluminous strands have gone... giving way for the short curly fro that i have craved for quite some time. my hair is ever-evolving. much like me i suppose. it keeps record...

i changed, so of course it needed to shift as well. i'm moving, doing, going, being, and doing again and again... i was in such a state of comfort. complacent, with a yurning to escape. i did and i'm ecstatic.

change is good. delicious even.

there is a community surrounding this transition. the natural girls are love and they share it with you. like a secret society when you see them, and they you.. they acknowledge.

it warm.
it's brooklyn.
i can't get enough.

these images keep me inspired... the stages are going to be miraculous..
i can't wait...

so adorable...

2009-06-09T13:30:00.008-04:00

i saw this some time ago and in NO WAY am i near this part of my life

but...

is this not the most adorable thing you have ever seen?

found here

this is...

2009-06-09T13:23:00.000-04:00

for love.

more found

2009-06-09T13:17:00.003-04:00

au revoir simone

2009-06-09T12:52:00.003-04:00

i accept that i may be late on this
i love this
so calmed by this music

there is something about ny that is causing me to switch gears
no longer do i long for the hussle and bussle

these transform the sirens and subway noise
to a birch forest with fluttering butterflies, soft breezes, and flirtatious fairies

found

2009-06-09T12:36:00.007-04:00

endless inspiration.
shared imagery.
my dream site.

http://ffffind.space150.com/

found these...

2008-11-03T02:27:00.002-05:00

all things at once... very unclear i know. i'm working on opening the door and letting you in. please excuse. so it is official- this is the start of a work week where i'm not actually 'going' to work... i am my own, and i'm here. but i am going to go, very far indeed.

the loss of sleep- not sure if that is temporary. it may not be too bad because that is when He speaks, so i'm wide awake...

open
open up your mind now
open up the sky now

open up your mind now
open wide now
come let me in now

open and fly now
come on and try now

thank you kenna.

i'm listening to everything, i hear it all. so much to process, and the strongest effort is organizing all of it. i want so much- want the REAL wealth of balance, peace, love... right now though my mind is overflowing with the potential, the possibilities. I'M ACTING. He answered, He is following through... as He said He would. i'm just trying to do my part in this thing.

the shift

2008-11-03T01:58:00.004-05:00

i may be all things at once, or one thing at a time.
my decision, or maybe my heart's
all are contending for the ultimate win.
i think it's realistic for all to go home with the gold medal.
in the end, thankfully i win regardless..
but by how much?

"what He's given is good, but what He's got to give is great."

did i hinder my great? i'm trying my best not to
anymore

i've been losing sleep over this

in the meantime i find comfort in imagery..
these B&W are all things at once
and one thing at a time

if and then

2008-11-03T01:44:00.005-05:00

if this doesn't scream etherealdisco, then what does?

photographer: tim walker

right place

2008-10-21T22:29:00.004-04:00

so the culmination of prayers, conversations, daydreams, read wisdom have had their way with me. i have officially stepped away from the establishment to create my own. what's funny is logic and gen. pop. would probably have advised otherwise, but the time is now. i can't help but smile to myself, because i know something they don't. there is no understanding or clear explanation for what i feel. a sense of peace, calm and happiness has overwhelmed me as i imagine the days ahead. i'm open to life and the experiences that present themselves to me as i move along the path that He created for me.

"take the first step in faith. you don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step." Dr. MLK

this makes me smile like 72 and sunny

2008-09-26T12:02:00.003-04:00

the link below is another, it's kinda old.

nice to know my emotions don't just belong to me

and how cool is the video?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-T8tYL2bqGQ

ethereal mosaic

2008-09-19T17:32:00.003-04:00

pretty interesting results.. try it for yourself

Type your answer to the questions into flickr search
-Using only the first page, pick an image
-Copy and paste each of the urls of the Mosaic Maker

1. What is your first name?
2. What is your favorite food?
3.What high school did you go to (or where are you planning to attend)?
4.What is your favorite color?
5.Who is your celebrity crush?
6.What is your favorite drink?
7.What is your dream vacation?
8.What is your favorite dessert?
9.What do you want to do when you grow up?
10.Who/ what do you love most in life?
11.Choose one word that describes you?
12.What is your Flickr name?

purpose love

2008-09-15T23:35:00.003-04:00

i thought it over...

ethereal disco is a lifestyle, a light, airy, fairy-tale like existence admist this place that i should build on

just go with it... do you ;)

i intend to... keep thinkin i have to figure it out, but i did already

DO
just DO
already know how to BE

tend to get a bit frightened by the sacrifice
too used to the comfort
but life is risk

i think i told myself upon receiving that degree that all of the experimentation, trials, tries had to end
i got settled and adapted to things that weren't for me... yes, i learned a lot... but the need to move on was there bc i knew/know something else lies ahead

purpose love is the theme

2008-08-23T19:00:00.001-04:00

everyday your actions put 'us' in perspective

moved every time

2008-08-14T21:23:00.001-04:00

my brooklyn

2008-08-11T20:54:00.001-04:00

re: this way

2008-08-11T12:26:00.004-04:00

it was brought to my attention that i have a gift: i don't have expectations for people. this allows me the ability to bypass a certain level of disappointment and frustration when it comes to others. i guess i never thought about it that way. i am not naive, nor am i ignorant- i accept people for who they are. i require nothing from them. oh, of course if i get something i am truely thankful and appreciative but if not, no worries. i have the ability to be content without them. however, i do enjoy the addition of those that i love- the chosen few whom i have allowed in and kept around. they are a divinely special bunch. no really, they are magic.

i thought about 'this way' a bit more. dove a little deeper into the thoughts, experiences and influences. as most things, this way may stem from childhood. my parents are love- two of the most selfless, kind, patient, and calm people i have ever met. at my age of eight, their marriage dissolved. they took care to make sure i knew that nothing was my fault, that they loved me. there was no mess, no fighting, all remained peaceful. what did change was the living arrangement- i would spend one week with one parent, and the next week with the other, alternating homes and lifestyles every week for the next 10 years of my life. i became an expert at packing. got my caboodle together and all my favorite things (my island) said bye to mom and hello to dad- bye to dad and hello to mom. it was kinda fun this life, always changing, living on my own in a way.

upon further reflection, i wonder if this made me a loner, a wanderer- off on my own, doing my own thing. did my own thing a lot. i had diverse interests- started ski racing at the age of seven. was clearly the only one of my friends doing that. that's fine, i'll just train by myself- wake up at 5am on weekends go train with the support of my father. travel to oregon to spend 2 weeks training some more every summer. then came fashion. once again the lone ranger with no partners. that's fine- it's what i like so... it's what i have to do. focussed on art, skill and aesthetics, beauty, clothing, and make-up. came to ny to grow and italy to expand. on my own.

friends and fam are here but... i am by myself. there is no doubt in my mind that i am loved. but people can't always be there, even if they desire to be. they accept me, but don't really understand this way. not sure if anyone ever will. it's fine- He does.

this way

2008-08-10T18:52:00.006-04:00

he asked me why am i this way. out of all his friends, i'm the only one that acts like this. even out of all my friends, i am the lone black sheep.

http://www.mypersonality.info/personality-types/infp/

i live on an island. its just north of reality. occasionally, i go down south to visit others, bringing my island with me of course, to exchange fruit and other local delicacies. at the end of the day i fall asleep and my island is right back where it started.

it also seems as though there is a portion of the population that isn't very keen on my owning this land. i tend not to acknowledge their presence. oh yes, at first it was hard- had me thinking something was wrong with me. but i discovered there is no wrong, just difference. i am exactly the way i am because this is how God created me to be... island and all.

i guess this still doesn't answer the why. i mean why is the sky blue? geez. it's so hard to say. what makes me, would for the most part seem to be subconscious layers of thoughts, experiences, and influence (how is this different from everyone else though?)

it has been observed that i don't quite fall in line with the general population, and i feel it myself, but what is IT?

the people that i purposefully keep in my life and keep close to me inspire. they bring me an element of safety and comfort. their islands are usually filled with people because that's what makes them happy. i love it when they are in this state of contentment, but enjoy them most when i have them all to myself. they sometimes venture off their populated islands to experience a bit of peace on mine. i have noticed over the years that i have never quite been away from my island, but in all honestly that's how i would prefer it.

on the contrary, there are times when i don't like being on my island. occasionally darkness falls and all i can do is sit and pray. most of the population isn't aware that my island knows more than the sun. i usually don't invite others at night. bad habit. i guess to me it seems as though darkness is contagious. i'd rather not put a damper on their cocktail parties. so i usually wallow and stay in prayer. eventually, i fall asleep and wake to the sun again. knowing that i am still alone and on my own but that it is ok.

i still probably haven't answered the why... dunno if i have an answer or if it is really important. i just am.

prayer 7 & 29 july 2008

2008-08-10T14:25:00.005-04:00

prayer 7:
the much-needed break to st. lucia was a blessing and i can’t thank you enough. the beach the rainforest, the tranquility, the ease, and even mosquitoes… i thank you for all of it. i would also like to thank you for the company. he was such a joy; we laughed, talked and laughed some more. i was truly comforted by his presence and every moment drew us closer. i only imagined moments like the times we shared. love was found. i look to you. i am forever grateful that i have known these feelings.

you have also blessed me with insight. for the past couple of years i have been on a thoughtful journey of self-exploration, purpose, etc. i have also come to several conclusions, how diverse they may be, that i should be working for myself. i have come up with several great ideas but have neglected to form a solid plan/timeline and a course of action. Lord, i believe my time is now. i’m looking to you for reassurance- we have had the conversation and I need your strength and perseverance to do this. help me to be focused and ACTION oriented. i know through you i can and will do these things.

prayer 29:
it’s a world out there. always living vibrantly, quickly- stopping or pausing to take a breath. recovery is more like it- we live in daily surgery, often operating on the same place, the same open wound. we can only look to you in these times, look for you within ourselves. there is no other option- for me at least.

i see her; she is in you and you in her. my view of her is prayer. what is she to learn? i hope there is sharing so don’t have to experience it too. or maybe that's just how it goes. Lord keep her… i know you are carrying right now, but she may feel like she is drowning. oh, how i want this to be over for her lord. bring her out of this state, stronger, changed and wiser.

additionally, please continue to keep me lord- keep me motivated and driven and energized. this is complete tiredom. sacrifice is necessary. i know. please aid so I can maintain and exceed my goals. Lord, show me when it’s time for me to leave the establishment. bless me with resources and clients so there is minimal transitional struggle. keep me in ACTION… i need that. the thought comes a bit easier.

to my angel. please keep her strong- i know she is feeling a bit taxed… help her to maintain. Lord, help me to help her feel almighty and important. she is so awesome.

he is away again. it’s good because his absence is allowing me to focus so… i miss him. keep him safe as he travels. allow him to come back refreshed, renewed and awake. i know he has had a lot on his mind. make it clear.

congratulations sir

2008-06-17T22:36:00.001-04:00

you're pretty much amazing :)

another time & place

2008-06-17T20:53:00.004-04:00

these are the early stages. these are the influencers. these are the revolutionaries. do you have it in you? do i have it in me? i certainly hope so. ready?

prayer 15 october 2007

2008-06-05T21:08:00.001-04:00

sometimes i pray so hard before i go to sleep that He wakes me up early to tell me things. and there is no going back to sleep when He is the alarm. so at 4:28 am i sit up in my bed and take note so i don't forget the message.

my prayers are often clones- asking for guidance, purpose, truth, persistence, perseverance & strength. ever so often i'll review my prayer journal- seems i've been putting myself through the same tests since 31 march 2006. i forget the things that i put myself through, so i have to go back and read so i don't make the same mistakes twice. (i should probably read it more)

anywho- this particular night i was praying for direction (guidance)... what do i want? it used to be so easy. i could tell you exactly what i wanted, and the age i would have it by. NOW, the woes of adultdom and nyc residency weigh heavy. so i prayed... and He brought me back to my foundation:

peace of mind- being content, having faith in HIM, internal joy & a general appreciation for life and what it has to offer
integrity- holding true to my personal values; being honest with myself & others about who i am
love- i crave this from a select few; and i give it in varying degrees (i'm aware that part may need a bit of improvement)
dreams- "if you can imagine it, it is real" -picasso

"if i truly want something... nothing can stop me, but i lost my way and for a second thought i was asking too much. i think because i couldn't come up with the exact path as in the past, i couldn't see 'it' happening. but i have never been the one to take the safe route... i have always blazed my own trail and done things people were/are weary of, taking a risk, a chance, stepping out on a limb. i can't believe i lost that. i'm reclaiming it RIGHT NOW."

how fitting

2008-06-05T20:14:00.001-04:00

that the definition of SHAYLA is "fairy palace"

(this is too much.. i can't even make this stuff up)

thanks mom & dad.

yes please

2008-06-05T18:05:00.001-04:00

the fall wardrobe of my dreams

thank you halston/rachel zoe... this embodies THE look... etherealdisco, boholux, primsoul

::sigh::

take me away

2008-06-05T12:54:00.001-04:00

i woud LOVE to be here right now

*painting courtesy of gustav klimt

warning: it comes & goes

2008-06-05T12:33:00.001-04:00

in the past i have diagnosed myself with a photographic memory

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eidetic_memory

i think this still holds true

however, i will not be held responsible for remembering the things i did not see

that is all.

well alright then

2008-06-04T10:24:00.002-04:00

how can you not love this? i feel warm. they're small men.

so dapper.

bliss at 8pm

2008-06-03T22:29:00.001-04:00

enlightenment. faith. peace. tranquility. self.

sitting in ft. greene, wondering, wandering, take breath, take deep breath- i received my sigh of relief. my peace is here. no other statement could ever be more true. my inspiration is here. when else would, i, shayla cox, write this. clinton hill, ft. greene, dumbo, all contribute to my flowery existence once i cross that bridge from money, chaos, greed. i ask myself, what is it all for? been asking that a lot lately. i mean really... i'm so over manhattan- wouldn't mind if my entire existence was in brooklyn my love.

sometimes i ask myself what's next. after ny, then what? you really gonna stay here? raise kids here? dunnno. where else can you find the antiquity of architecturally enriched brownstone blocks? or community so nationally/internationally diverse? full of art, fashion, life... everything i have come to love during my 25 years is right here.

is it a phase?

*and if you do know a place that is similar to what is described above, please let me know so i can add it to my list of one. thanks.

broken seal

2008-06-03T22:02:00.001-04:00

this is to record the thoughts that won't calm. i shied away from this, because right now it seems like 'the thing' to do. of course i don't want to be part of a crowd, BUT this- this is gonna be good. for me at least. it's also to include my loved ones in on the happening that is my life- they'll have more than a clue in this realm. it will be an open forum of thoughts, love and true exchange. letting those who are close to me in, i mean really IN has always been a challenge. this is to aid. trying something new to get a different outcome. i refuse to let it be anything but pleasant. although the journey may be a bit rough at times, i will take nothing less than a happy ending.