congratulations sir

you're pretty much amazing :)

another time & place

these are the early stages. these are the influencers. these are the revolutionaries. do you have it in you? do i have it in me? i certainly hope so. ready?

prayer 15 october 2007

sometimes i pray so hard before i go to sleep that He wakes me up early to tell me things.  and there is no going back to sleep when He is the alarm.  so at 4:28 am i sit up in my bed and take note so i don't forget the message.

my prayers are often clones- asking for guidance, purpose, truth, persistence, perseverance & strength. ever so often i'll review my prayer journal- seems i've been putting myself through the same tests since 31 march 2006.  i forget the things that i put myself through, so i have to go back and read so i don't make the same mistakes twice. (i should probably read it more)

anywho- this particular night i was praying for direction (guidance)... what do i want? it used to be so easy. i could tell you exactly what i wanted, and the age i would have it by.  NOW, the woes of adultdom and nyc residency weigh heavy.  so i prayed... and He brought me back to my foundation:

• peace of mind- being content, having faith in HIM, internal joy & a general appreciation for life and what it has to offer
  
• integrity- holding true to my personal values; being honest with myself & others about who i am
  
• love- i crave this from a select few; and i give it in varying degrees (i'm aware that part may need a bit of improvement) 
  
• dreams- "if you can imagine it, it is real" -picasso 
  

"if i truly want something... nothing can stop me, but i lost my way and for a second thought i was asking too much.  i think because i couldn't come up with the exact path as in the past, i couldn't see 'it' happening.  but i have never been the one to take the safe route... i have always blazed my own trail and done things people were/are weary of, taking a risk, a chance, stepping out on a limb.  i can't believe i lost that. i'm reclaiming it RIGHT NOW."

how fitting

that the definition of SHAYLA is "fairy palace"

(this is too much.. i can't even make this stuff up)

thanks mom & dad.

yes please

the fall wardrobe of my dreams

thank you halston/rachel zoe... this embodies THE look... etherealdisco, boholux, primsoul

::sigh::

take me away

i woud LOVE to be here right now

*painting courtesy of gustav klimt

warning: it comes & goes

in the past i have diagnosed myself with a photographic memory

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eidetic_memory

i think this still holds true

however, i will not be held responsible for remembering the things i did not see

that is all.

well alright then

how can you not love this? i feel warm. they're small men.

so dapper.

bliss at 8pm

enlightenment. faith. peace. tranquility. self.

sitting in ft. greene, wondering, wandering, take breath, take deep breath- i received my sigh of relief. my peace is here. no other statement could ever be more true. my inspiration is here. when else would, i, shayla cox, write this. clinton hill, ft. greene, dumbo, all contribute to my flowery existence once i cross that bridge from money, chaos, greed. i ask myself, what is it all for? been asking that a lot lately. i mean really... i'm so over manhattan- wouldn't mind if my entire existence was in brooklyn my love.

sometimes i ask myself what's next. after ny, then what? you really gonna stay here? raise kids here? dunnno. where else can you find the antiquity of architecturally enriched brownstone blocks? or community so nationally/internationally diverse? full of art, fashion, life... everything i have come to love during my 25 years is right here.

is it a phase?

*and if you do know a place that is similar to what is described above, please let me know so i can add it to my list of one. thanks.

broken seal

this is to record the thoughts that won't calm. i shied away from this, because right now it seems like 'the thing' to do. of course i don't want to be part of a crowd, BUT this- this is gonna be good. for me at least. it's also to include my loved ones in on the happening that is my life- they'll have more than a clue in this realm. it will be an open forum of thoughts, love and true exchange. letting those who are close to me in, i mean really IN has always been a challenge. this is to aid. trying something new to get a different outcome. i refuse to let it be anything but pleasant. although the journey may be a bit rough at times, i will take nothing less than a happy ending.