montreal:: poutine, crepes, & lovin'

bonjour from pamela shepard on Vimeo.

on the way & coming soon...

...just a taste :)

four-finger ring

inspiration....

working on a project at the moment

ceramic jewelry

dewy & demur

:)

the video

the colors

does it for me

how lovely she is...

mom in the 70's

my natural inspiration

she probably has no idea..

don't you love the big hair?!

he asked and i said...

"i am [now] who i always thought i was,

and wanted to be,

but didn't think i could be."

so... here we are...

must admit

i was proud of myself for that one

had to write it down

ha

if i was going...

to get married this summer

this would totally be my wedding dress

:)

feast your eyes on this one...

but of course...

Jillian.. the cutest cousin ever

(aside from her sisters ;)

is now a member of

THE NATIONAL HONOR SOCIETY

CONGRATS!!!

... yep pretty much

runs in the family...

thanks.

may 8 :: thoughts

…since when do people know what they want?

This was Shaun’s response to me.. his wisdom via God/Morgan Freeman in the movie Bruce Almighty. I was explaining to him how through all of my changes and my growth I haven’t the slightest idea of what my type is regarding men. Ok, so maybe a little idea about what I need from past experiences.. but as far as what that package looks like and how to spot him… I’m completely stumped.

However, in writing this it seems to all make sense. I can’t judge anyone from the outside and that was probably my issue before... Duh- So caught up with the external… what is lacking from the internal goes unnoticed. I should just focus on how I feel, the chemistry, the balance… I guess I’ll know it when it comes… which is what they say right?

Several things…

So I met a guy on Wednesday… long story short, I found out (via google… I know I know) that he may be kindofabigdeal. Immediately, I must say I became a bit intimidated by the thought of proceeding with him and what it means, say if we enter into a relationship (can’t help it.) Am I ready for the responsibility of being the counterpart to someone like that? Good enough? When he finds out more about me will he think I’m the appropriate choice for his life? Will he find value in who I am and what I am doing? Possess the patience to peel back the layers? To know that he can only see a fraction of me at this moment and that I will always be growing, changing, morphing and being… Appreciate that that’s the intriguing part of being with me? It will never get old…

Separate, but equally important… several people (kids in school) are leaving my job. For a moment because of their moving on I began to feel stuck. Like I am in a place where I have accepted my fate to work in a retail store.

Then, after a few moments I snapped myself out of it. New York and life can be so distracting! I am where I should be. I am working on my 10,000 hours. I am only at Reiss only 3 days a week (with full-time benefits might I add), and I have freedom to work DK and plenty of time to focus on my pottery. This is my lifestyle at the moment… what I wanted, what I asked for, what I received, and what I am thankful for. It is not exactly as I imagined but it’s damn near perfect. My career cannot and will not make me. My presence in this world is a gift and I should, will and do carry myself as such. What I have to offer is special to me and me only. You’re welcome.

No man or outside distraction is going to knock me off track for who I am now and who I am slated to be.

april 20 :: bday eve :: thoughts

It’s April 20, 2010 and tomorrow I will be 27 years of age.

I have been thinking about where I am in my life right now and if I step back and take a look I’m doing just fine. No comparisons to the general population, no looking at time, just asking myself if I am doing what is necessary to be the best me.

I realized not too long ago that I must make things beautiful and make beautiful things. Today, I am an artist. For so long I thought the word too bold, I was too humble to have the label placed upon me. I did not want to be responsible for its weight. Today, I know not claiming what I have been called to be is death. I understand now.

I do battle, however, with the need to take in information vs. the need to create. I observe and absorb so much but my output is quite minimal. Reminds me of a friend’s childhood story- for the entirety of her time as a toddler through adolescence she barely spoke… barely said a word… and today she is the life of the party and a social butterfly. Was she just taking it all in during those foundational years? Only to have a overflow of fervor for life years later…

I am comfortable and that scares me. It is in this place that I fear complacency and acceptance. Isn’t it anger and problems that inspired creative solutions and gallant expressive acts?

I must want more and strive for greater than this moment. Every moment should be the ultimate moment.

I look at photographs of New Yorkers and all I see is youth. The life we lead here is so young. Selfish. Is it the lack of responsibility to anyone but ourselves that keeps us going? Keeps us cool/chic/on trend etc.?

For the first time in a long time I am truly single. I have cut off or took a break from all of my guy “friends.” You know, the ones that I would hang out with, hook up with or had an unfailing attraction for. All of them gone. It’s a bit liberating I must admit. A friend said to me, “I love single Shayla.” Me too. I do what I want with my time, find MY way… I’m finding my person without the influence of others or another.

I didn’t know that being an artist was an option. Seemed unsafe. How can I make a living from that? It’s not what I saw as a child. My parents, both in ‘stable’ jobs- teacher and project manager at architectural firm.

I have been thinking a lot about leaving New York. Thinking about the west coast or moving home for a bit. Thought of grad school at Ohio State.. apparently they have a decent program in ceramics. I have really appreciated my new-found interest in pottery. There is also a program in San Francisco. Both programs are in the top 10… hum, wonder if I could go to OSU for free? Or get a killer scholarship for SF.

I am easily influenced… gotta stop that. The world is too loud and my mind too quiet. Speak up.

lunch break on bleeker st...

http://fashion.elle.com/blog/2010/03/street-chic-new-york-11.html#comments

black love is real

painted lady dresses

funny how life changes

a year and a half ago i was selling bridesmaid dresses

they weren't like these tho

so cute they are

i won't be in any weddings anytime soon

(i don't think)

but for everyone else they are quite nice

you know what? they can be worn as just a nice dress too

so versatile...

yay ally!

(it's my friend's line.. so let me know and i will forward info if interested)

friends of friends

so...

i don't really know them

per say

may have met them once

or not at all

but aren't they beautiful?

oh to be inspired...

julia sarr-jamois

fashion editor for wonderland magazine

it found me again

a friend shared this with me some time ago

it found its way back

eery and beautiful

...kinda like life

loving life.. this moment is a blessing

wow..

what a difference a year can make

i would have never thought that i would be in this place

i take that back.. I KNEW

i didn't know when 'it' was to be my reality

but i knew it would come

kept telling my mom

i know something big is going to happen

it did

i haven't been this happy in ages

i can't thank Him enough

i have a lovely home in Ft. Greene

where it all started for me

and i'm back

comfortable...

spring is here

i will soon be 27

i have an amazing lifestyle

time for work and time for play

i use my creativity in my work

and get exercise doing it

so my body is right

and yoga once a week helps too

in shape and in balance

i'm surrounded by lovely ladies

we motivate and inspire one another

i'm now a studio assistant

yay! in a pottery studio

unlimited access!

i'm doing

i'm creating

i'm loving... myself

thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you

a vision of home ownership..

for when i'm ready to buy...

kinda rustic and masculine

but eclectic and comfy

while i'm loving my place now

i will not keep myself from setting goals for future...

ms. badu knows...

her album drops soon...

i thank her for sharing her work

her strength..

and her ability to be insecure at times...

we are all so complex

multifaceted

fine jewels...

I just want a chance to fly

A chance to cry
And a long bye bye..
But I need u to want me
Need you to miss me
I need your attention
I need you next me
I need someone to clap for me
I need your direction

...wood-grain errythang

shywood did it for me

for real? wood-grain specs?

i think i may need these for spring/summer

and life in general...

They who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night.

-edgar allan poe

self-discovery &...

self-preservation

most times one in the same

it's part of the journey

the awakening of "i am"

work by: katharina grosse

if ur in the giving spirit...

::UPDATE:: IT'S MINE!! MuauauauauauauAUAHAHAHAHAHAH!! I am now the proud owner of this fine piece of jewelry ;)

...and have some extra change on you

BUY ME THIS!!! ...available here

::clears throat::

pardon me, i apologize....

don't know what came over me

this necklace has to be one of the

most magnificent pieces that i've seen in a while

for neck adornment purposes

and it's somewhat affordable..

eh..

::putting it in the atmosphere:: i will have this

perfect for morning

afternoon, or night

i love this way cuz i got it as a kid

i miss him dearly...

presence

"seeing beauty in a flower could awaken humans, however briefly, to the beauty that is an essential part of their innermost being, their true nature. the first recognition of beauty was one of the most significant events in the evolution of human consciousness. the feelings of joy and love are intrinsically connected to that recognition..."

- a new earth

the haze has lifted

and my gift to this world has become quite clear.

i am to work with my hands

making things beautiful

making beautiful things

at the request of a friend

i chose to dabble in make-up for a shoot

... the joy comes when the outcome is pleasing

styling: pam

photo: kwesi

i have grand ideas for etherealdisco

imagination makes me high

it will come

it has been done

time is nonexistent

my medium...

... space and accoutrements

and just about anything

to garnish one's visual experience

i'm working on my 10,000 hrs

at the moment

the muses...

"beauty must be defined as what we are,

or else the concept itself is our enemy"

yup

i know.